"Ooh baby, do you know what that's worth?"

I have a list, several lists actually, but one of them is a list of 30 things to do before I turn 30. A lot of the thing on this list are small, seemingly insignificant things. Others are big, expensive or very difficult things. Somewhere about two thirds down the list is: sing Karaoke!


You may qualify this under one of those small things but to me, the difficulty of carrying out said task is ridiculously disproportionate to the actual effort it ought to take. Though I am no Broadway performer, I can carry a tune. I have been in choirs, musicals, performed at church and I am a rock star in the shower! I don't know what it is about a smokey bar full of people that makes my palms sweat but I cannot do it. I took some first steps last night at Monks. Candace invited me to join a group of her thespian/musical friends for Saturday night karaoke. Step one, I went...step two, I sang Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven is a place on earth" with three other girls. It was fun, there is no denying I had a blast! I'll be brave next time.

College Football and Asbestos?

Saturday was an interesting day. I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed at approximately 7am, something that NEVER happens. Those who know me are aware that mornings are not my favorite! Regardless of my desire to return to the world of fabulous dreams (yes, they were fabulous) I could not lull myself back to sleep. I decided to get up and work on an itinerary for my upcoming vacation. Do I want to go to Greece and Turkey or the Adriatic coast? Difficult question any time of day so keep in mind it was early. After coming up with a vague Plan A, dreamland beckoned me back and I took a 45 minute field trip. After breakfast, shower and a few minutes on the phone with mom I got a text from Jessie that said, "Long boarding pro yeah that's a black eye for your enjoyment" with an accompanying photo of the black eye and some wicked road rash (you should check her blog in a few days for pics)! I headed to her house to see for myself, poor girl was seriously injured (pride and all), sorry Jess!


At 3 o'clock I met my sisters, Natalie and Cecily, to head up to the Utah v. Air Force game, the first home game of the season. This pathetic alum doesn't even own a Utah t-shirt and sat in the visitor section courtesy of Natalie's friend and some free tix. It was fun even though the Utes didn't walk away with the victory. Go Utes!

After the game I had plans to go see King of Kong: A fist full of quarters, with Lance. This is where the asbestos comes in. I arrive to find a frantic and still wet from the shower Lance. He jumped the gun on some ceiling popcorn removal and is now certain he is going to die in two weeks from asbestos poisoning. I took him to go pick up a pizza knowing food always calms and cheers him but even this could not work. I left a drier but equally frantic Lance, frustrated to be thwarted in not my 1st, not my 2nd, but my 3rd attempt to see the above mentioned documentary. I hope Lance realizes that it is not insensitivity but a strong sense of logic that allows me to feel frustration in his time of need. Good luck Lance, and good luck to me in my next attempt to find hilarity in a documentary about video games!

Drunken Humor

Having been a sober observer at several parties I often wonder, why get drunk? Who wants to have your friend spend the evening holding your hair or wake up the next morning and not be able to find your cell phone but vaguely remember dropping it and then putting the several pieces in a "safe place?" Saturday, Michelle and I were the only two at the whole party who didn't have a single taste of alcohol. So, for all those individuals who say that it helps you loosen up and have more fun, I beg to differ and dare you to laugh as hard as we did! We laughed until there were tears, real tears, and our tummies were aching! Michelle's hubby had been watching a documentary online about people who have life dolls. I hadn't the slightest what a life doll was so I'll enlighten all who are wondering. Apparently there are life size, life like dolls that you can purchase for a mere 6 grand or so, some people even have "relationships" with them. One man in the documentary was quoted, "at first it was just a lot of sex, then our relationship grew and we would just gaze into each others eyes." Ummm...oh yeah, that guy lives at home with his mom. Michelle and I decided we wanted the voodoo version of said doll, we chose a name for it and...well, I don't want to give too many details, you should have been there and just like drunken humor, it was probably funnier then than it is now. Moral of the story: laugh and laugh hard, you'll probably feel drunk and aside from no hangover, nobody has to hold your hair and you won't misplace your cell.

Rules=NO FUN!

Aside from all rules imposed on me by government, religion, work, lease agreement, cell phone contract, etc. I have a strict set of self imposed rules including but not limited to:

No Coke (except Friday and Saturday)

No eating after 6:30pm

Drink at least 2 Nalgenes full of water a day

Short showers (hello, save the whales)

No touch-y! (use your imagination)

Be nice (one of the tougher ones:)

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No Blogging at work (yeah right!)

Sometimes all these rules seem to amount to "No fun whatsoever!" What's with that? If rules are supposed to keep you safe, protected and help you to avoid doing things you will regret, why do I sometimes regret having to follow them? I follow these rules with a hope that they will secure my continued happiness and prevent me from getting crapped on. I hope I am right!

Good Laughs!

This little clip cracks me up and since blogger has made it so easy for me to post videos, I wanted to share. Enjoy!

Violated :o

Today at work I was violated. While standing unsuspectingly at the nurses station on one of the units, a patient walked out of the day room and gave me a hearty smack on the left cheek, that would be my butt cheek! (x!_) For those of you who need visuals, X marks the spot! In case you are wondering, it happened over an hour ago and I can still feel the sting. The saddest part is my reaction...I always think that if I am violated I am going to retaliate with a knee in the groin, a smack on the face or an elbow in the gut but noooo, all I could say was "EXCUSE ME!?" The other sad part is that Frank, the wonderful gay unit manager who witnessed all of this is more shaken up than me. Poor Frank:(

Big Love!

I was apprehensive at first, even sent my e-mail to HBO stating my disapproval. I was too hasty. I have fallen in love with Bill, the wives and all of the Big Love family. I now join in the discussions with various coworkers about the hysterical circumstances and crazy symbolism packed into each episode. I initially observed these gatherings with pure annoyance, I mean seriously, what was the big deal. BIG LOVE...Well, see for yourself, I am hooked!