I don't believe in regret.

Why should I regret something I have done that I cannot change? I should clarify that I distinguish between remorse and regret. I am always feeling guilty, I'm really good at guilt, but regret...what's the point? If you can learn from something, isn't it worth experiencing?

Regret does not carry with it the energy of remorse, the sting of
compunction, the sacredness of contrition, or the practical character of
repentance. We even apply the term regret to circumstance over which we have had
no control, as the absence of friends or their loss. When connected with
ourselves, it relates rather to unwise acts than to wrong or sinful ones. --C. J. Smith.

Since I am human, I am unwise all the time. Hopefully I will learn wisdom by making a better choice next time rather than regretting a decision and not changing.

So, next time I will:

Pay the extra $10 to see the Harem
Not eat the second piece of pie
Wake up a little earlier, its not worth the rescheduling fee
Go to class, good grades are worth it
Ask for help
Offer to help
Go, cause I WILL feel bad if I miss it
Pull over to take a short nap
Keep my mouth shut
Be a little bit more organized
Be a little less scared
etc., etc., ETC.!

Spirit of Christmas...at work!

As shopping for Christmas gifts for 84 boys progressed, so had my level of frustration. I'll be honest, its a little hard to shop for gifts you most likely will only hear complaints about later. They aren't enough, the right ones, what I wanted, you fill in the blank! I just wish they knew how much I care, how much all of us who are working to provide a good Christmas for them, care! I want them to open something that will make them smile, that will make them for a moment forget that their life kinda sucks. I decided today that I wont mind if they complain, I still care. Here are some reasons why...

Today the boys put on their winter concert. One boy played the piano, very well I might add, our small choir sung Do-re-mi and Walking in a Winter Wonderland, then some of the boys exhibited their skills on the drums and other percussion instruments. They were all so amazing and I was so proud of them for their courage and effort! Our little cafeteria was crammed full of their peers (who can be brutal critics) and almost every single one of them watched in a respectful manner, surprising and pleasing all of the staff. It was one of those events that reminds me why I do what I do and that it is worth it.

This afternoon, Al reminded me about our first Christmas working at Benchmark. JoJo is one of our favorite boys and he has nobody. His life is a sad story and wont likely get much better. He has never received a Christmas gift from home and this particular year one of our other boys recognized this. He went around to each boy on the unit, taking up a collection. Each kid found something from their meagre possessions to contribute and presented it all to JoJo for Christmas.

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 1 Peter 4:8-10

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. Moroni 7:47

Dress Up

I went to a White Trash Christmas party last night. Party was complete with lil smokies, twinkies, ants on a log and even gingerbread trailers. I arrived dressed in the clothes I wore to work and quickly learned that I had come in inappropriate attire. I was instructed (forced) to find something more suitable. LUCKILY, Danielle has a dress up box (I will be investing in one soon, they are invaluable). We had a ball and anyone who showed up looking normal was sent into the room with the box.

Jessie, Darby, Danielle, Me and Marci livin' it up white trash style...I love Jessie's Marlboro!

They don't get much happier than these two folks! Clint and Jessie are a match made in white trash heaven. And that is GEN-U-INE 7Eleven chili sauce on his wife beater!

And...you guessed it, Analee and Candice showed up looking a bit to professional for our taste. Well, we did what we could!!!

Things I didn't know I didn't know...

I learned some interesting things this week. I was told that a regulation basketball hoop can fit two men's basketballs through it, side by side. I didn't believe it, and it turns out it isn't true. But...two women's basketballs can! Also, I didn't know there are around 9,000 bumps or dots on the surface of a basketball. But...I didn't know anybody cared!

Discovering domesticity?

You have to be careful because I would probably hit you if you called me a home-ec teacher. I do recreation therapy which provides a fun environment to learn therapeutic skills. In my class we cook, sew, create art, play games and generally engage in all things fun (and appropriate). While doing these various activities I encourage my boys to focus on things like team building, working together, following instructions, patience, social skills, etc. Watching individuals participate in recreation can tell you a lot about their personality!


While working on his square for the holiday quilt, one boy asked me, "why do you get mad when I call your class home-ec?" Pleased with his respectful tone I responded that it is because if I were a home-ec teacher I would be concerned about the quality of the stitch and the efficiency with which he completed his assignment (he didn't even finish and frankly, his looked like crap). However, because it is rec therapy I am more concerned with his ability to use patience while threading the needle (he used the 'F' word more than once in his attempts) and his ability to follow directions (he had to start over because after applying all his iron on glue he peeled it all off because he wasn't listening).

This is all beside the point. I am not a home-ec teacher. I am not particularly artsy, crafty or domestic. I have been blessed with creativity and the ability to do just about anything I put my mind to. So this year I have learned how to quilt, sew, cook various easy foods, make hats on a loom, narrate guided imagery, and a plethera of other domstic activities. You could probably even call me a domestic goddess! Through these skills I have learned the more important lessons of patients, kindness, being a good leader, being a good listener, being a good example, endurance, dealing with the unexpected, felxibility and masking frustration! Those are not skills you learn in home-ec!

This week I tied and finished the last 3 years worth of holiday quilts. I'm so proud!!!

(I've been hanging onto this blog so I could post pics too but I give up...they'll come later!)

Two friends...two beautiful new babies!

I usually say, "I don't like other people's kids," and by other people I mean strangers. Children that belong to my friends are another story. Having no children of my own and not a single niece or nephew from any of my multitude of siblings, I am always excited when one of my friends has a baby.

Congratulations Dyan and Lars on little baby Nora, she is so beautiful!

And congrats to Mandy and Stan on baby John, he's adorable!